Q&A with Jeffrey Meshel

Personal experience. I went through a horrible divorce. My ex-wife literally went through 15 attorneys. I experienced the extremes of a system that never worked. I was alone, scared, not in control, subject to motion practice and judges that are overwhelmed.

Going through a divorce in the hierarchy of horrible things that happen to people is right there up at the top—perhaps below death of a relative or spouse. I was in a fog, vulnerable and financially being exploited. The only person that was relevant to me was my matrimonial attorney. His views were limited to process and I felt he had little to no business prowess. I actively sought out other guys like me. Men that own their own business, had kids, similar income bracket, etc. and started learning very valuable information based upon their experiences. This information my lawyer never told me. I decided to do an event, “Divorced or Divorcing Dads with Young Children Luncheon”. I sent an email to my database (about 8500 people asking the email to be forwarded as well). Over time I had close to 2000 responses. I picked 75 guys that had some relevance to each other and did the event. It went on for three hours. Everybody wanted me to continue doing more events. It was very valuable to the attendees. For a few years, I did about 15 events and I then realized the meaningfulness of creating a community both for men and women.

The App has similar functionality to the website with some additions. Like the website there are forums on specific topics and content we curate. Members pick the topics that they want to follow and we push that content to them. In addition, the secret sauce is finding members that are demographically relevant to each other. This is best shared by an anecdote. The first time I appeared in front of a judge in New York City, I was scared, knew nothing, in experienced and was hanging on to my attorney’s coattails. The judge was crazy. She was yelling, changing her positions on the fly. I was stunned. I turned to my attorney and said, “Marc, what is the story with this Judge? She’s crazy”. He replied, “Well, it depends on the meds she takes that dictates her behavior in court.”

This was an O.M.G moment. This is the insight I got. This is the person that decides about my welfare. What do I do? What are my resources? The answer was that there were none. I went home drank two bottles of wine and passed out. We ask our members to define themselves. Who is your judge? Who is your attorney? Who is your spouse’s attorney? Do you own our own business? Are you an at home parent? I can find on DivorceForce multiple members that are in front of the same judge. I can find other men whose wives have the same attorney as my wife. The searchable filters enable our community members to be empowered and learn from people just like themselves. Anyone I explain the power of what we are doing that has gotten divorced always says the same thing. I wish I had DivorceForce when I got divorced. The App also has a geo location feature. I can be at a restaurant and check to see if other DF members are nearby. I can see their profiles and text them.

Web Based/ App communities are very valuable. We are the only community, the quoted resource, the enabler to evoke change, the place where service providers will market. What started out as, “I want to make a difference and help others” is now becoming a gigantic business opportunity. Every state is its own community. Every state has its own laws, rules and purveyors of service. Our goal is for them to go through us. It isn’t just matrimonial lawyers, forensic accountants, psychologists that want access to people getting divorced. It is every purveyor of service; real estate brokers, financial planners, insurance, travel. Lenders, pawn brokers dating, etc. Everybody! We are starting here, domestically. We are already being approached by people in other countries. Divorce is a world wide problem and we are the first community.

We launched right before Thanksgiving. We are evolving now. Awareness is the key and the right strategic investors/partners enable us to take advantage of building a huge business. There are so many verticals for us. We have amortizing term insurance policy (joint venture in places to address the support obligation – not launched yet). We have an agreement with the largest job engine to enable people to get back to work - (not launched yet) whatever I share today a year from now there will be so much more.

Recently, I was with the CEO of a major cruise line. I told him about DivorceForce and I asked him that when our membership evolves if they would consider dedicating a ship for Christmas for divorce/divorcing parents with young kids. The entire cruise are parents changing their lives socially and the kids get to enjoy a normal cruise. DivorceForce will bring speakers and events that are relevant to life moving forward and the kids are having a great vacation. He loved my idea.

Yes. Wealth exacerbates the divorce process. Unfortunately, matrimonial law isn’t a profession. It is a business. When there are significant assets lawyers can assess a big pay day. I am not suggesting that this is always the case, but it isn’t unusual that expectations are exaggerated to prolong the legal process. I’ll share one brief story. A wealthy real estate owner in New York was in a divorce where the fees were seven figures. His last name was a common name. His business was owning buildings in New York City—period! His spouse’s attorneys found over 40 companies in the country that had a similar name. (His last Name) They sent subpoenas to all of those companies none of which had anything to do with him. If it’s at all possible, you try to stay out of the process and negotiate a fair settlement.